I Don't Know You Anymore
by Venus163
Summary: A Mimato; my second tearjerker. Matt hasn't seen Mimi in a long time... and when he finally gets the courage to return, she's gone... Will he finally understand their past?


~I DON'T KNOW YOU ANYMORE~  
By Venus163  
  
A/N: Hello peoples, this is just something I cooked up on inspiration from Savage Garden's song the other day. I was feeling particularily depressed and this is what I channeled it into! As you can guess, it's meant to be a tearjerker, and a Mimato at that.   
  
Maybe the lyrics don't exactly fit, but think about it. It certainly enlightened me.  
  
Anyway, I own nothing but the plot. Please review.  
  
  
  
"…and let's give them a warm welcome!"  
  
As bright lights flashed and the crowd cheered, the leader of the band stepped up to the microphone, electric guitar in his hands.  
  
His eyes searched the masses of people for a face that he knew wasn't going to be there, but had searched for since almost a year ago.   
  
He was right. She wasn't there, just like he had predicted, but he couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.  
  
Brushing the blonde hair out of his eyes, he said in a fake happy tone, "Are you ready?"  
  
The stage shook under his feet at the force of their cries.  
  
He said nothing more, just plucked a note on his guitar, causing the cries to become deafening.  
  
The music began, and he sang, but his heart wasn't in it and neither was his mind. He could only think about… her.   
  
Her…  
  
Mimi Tachikawa.   
  
He sang the words, but he wasn't listening. He didn't see the desperate girls screaming his name, nor the large banner with the name of his band. Instead, he could only see her face… he could only see the past. The past where her name and his had been linked together.  
  
The letters on the banners disappeared and rearranged themselves until it became something familiar…  
  
M. I. + M. T.  
  
Yamato kicked himself mentally as the instrumental part of the song started, giving him a break. He looked back up but the banner looked like it always did.  
  
He sighed. For nearly a year he had been like this. Always searching for her face in the crowds, everything he saw reminding him of her. Every flower, everything pink screamed out her name at him.   
  
He was jolted back to reality as the percussionist's drums rent through the air. Realizing where he was, he opened his mouth and began to sing again stiffly. Not that the girls noticed, though. He was just a blonde, azure-eyed god to them who could do no wrong.  
  
His mind racing, he looked over the crowd again. He had tried to open up again, but it was impossible. Every girl he met, he tried to find someone exactly like her. The same hair, the same eyes, the same, pretty nose of hers. Her sincerity, her optimism he searched for, but no one had all these features.  
  
No one had even come close.  
  
He played a last note on his guitar, relieved. The crowd's screams and yells nearly deafened him, but he bowed rigidly, smiling an insincere smile before hurrying off the stage.  
  
Almost throwing his guitar into the case, he mumbled something about being tired to the other band members and escaped into the cool, night air, disguised, of course. He couldn't go anywhere without being recognized and mobbed anymore.  
  
He slipped through the throng of girls, only intent on getting away to a place where he could hear himself think. For a moment or two Yamato wondered if he had been identified, but as no girls hurled themselves at him, he knew he was safe.  
  
He escaped to a nearby park, not far from his apartment, which thankfully, was still a secret from the public. He sat on his usual bench, breathing in deeply, before using his guitar case as a make-do pillow and laying back on the bench.  
  
Yamato stared at the stars, feeling wistful. She had loved the stars. Many times the two of them would lay on a blanket in the park and just gaze at them. She had been content just to lay in his arms, and he just to hold her. For hours at a time they lay there, hearts beating as one.  
  
He turned his head sharply, the guitar case feeling uncomfortable under his head, but he didn't care. The memories hurt.  
  
They had been so happy together. The gang had always told them that they were the perfect couple. How did it all end?  
  
Yamato thought back, traveling the now very familiar path. She had broken up with him for some reason…  
  
Her words echoed in his mind…  
  
Matt… I think we should stop seeing each other…  
  
He had been hurt, more hurt than she could ever have known. He had covered up that hurt and the vulnerability that came with it with anger, yelling at her.   
  
He regretted that now. He had forgotten how sensitive she had been. He had made her cry, and it pained him as much as it did now as when he had first realized it.  
  
With a sad sigh, Yamato tucked his arms behind his head, ignoring the discomfort. The breakup had left a deep scar in him, one that hadn't completely healed to this day.   
  
He had run away from his problems, his hurt, from her. He caught the first plane from Tokyo to the States, leaving only a note for his father and for Takeru. He went to New York, though he knew that she had called the place home for a few years before coming back to Japan. It was there on that fateful day that he had sang, strumming on his guitar, in Central Park, only to be heard by a record company manager. He had become part of a band, a wildly successful band. He was unbelievably rich now… but it didn't seem to matter…  
  
He had cut off all connections to Japan, not even talking with Takeru anymore. But it still hurt. And he knew it would always hurt. He had run away, like a coward, but it would still hurt.  
  
His eyes tightly closed, a few tears escaped him and he opened his eyes, viciously wiping away the tears. He stared at the night sky, his eyes drawn to a particular star.  
  
It was a beautiful star, just the right size and the right amount of sparkle. He had seen it the first day that he had come to New York. Every time he came to the park he would just look at that star. Yamato was sure that it had grown dimmer during that time, but he would look at it closely and the sparkle would vanquish all thoughts of that.  
  
"Forgive me…"  
  
He started. He was sure that it had been Mimi's voice. He sat up and looked around quickly, but there was no one.   
  
He must have been hearing things.  
  
Yamato leaned back down and looked at the star again. For a few moments, it seemed to waver, before with a last sparkle, seeming to have been directed at him, it disappeared completely.  
  
A large wave of sadness blanketed him. His heart seemed to be having trouble beating. Now he was really shaken, but his mind only thought of the star. Bright and cheerful till the end.  
  
"Mimi…" he whispered, and suddenly stood up, grabbing his case. He was going to go see her.  
  
~*~ ~*~ ~*~  
  
Yamato shuffled off the plane quietly, avoiding any crowd. It had taken him a month, but he had finally managed to step on a plane. The sadness that had come with the death of the star had somehow managed to cling to him. He didn't understand it, but he didn't question it.  
  
He slipped through the crowd and began to walk out of the airport. Was it too soon? Did she never want to see him? Was this all a mistake?  
  
He shook his head as he hailed a taxi. "Odaiba, please," he said politely.  
  
As the cab rolled along at a slow pace, his mind was caressing her memory. He had fallen in love with her at first sight. He had been scared of the feelings, of what she felt for him. He had avoided her and didn't talk much to her because of that.  
  
He smiled bitterly. Somehow, she had fallen in love with him too. The cold, lone wolf, the rebel. It had taken him nearly ten years to ask her out, but he did so.  
  
That had led to several of the happiest years in his life…  
  
…Then to one of his saddest.   
  
He told the driver to stop in front of a certain building. Paying him and then getting out, he stared at the place that he hadn't seen in a long time.  
  
Slowly, he walked in and took the elevator, hoping deeply that this wasn't a mistake.  
  
He took a deep breath and knocked on the door.  
  
A tall blonde answered the door. "How may I help… Matt!"  
  
"Hey little bro," he said breathlessly. "How have you been?"  
  
Takeru threw himself in his arms. "Oh Matt, you don't know how much we've missed you…"  
  
"We?"  
  
Takeru opened the door completely, revealing the rest of the gang.  
  
"Hey guys!"  
  
He hugged everyone. Sora, Hikari, and Miyako were crying. Taichi, Koushiro, and Jyou slapped him on the back. Daisuke, Ken, and Iori smiled and shook his hand.  
  
When he had finally untangled himself from everyone, he asked, "So, what's up?"  
  
Taichi smiled. "You're up, Matt! You're band's the talk everywhere!"  
  
He shrugged. "I guess…" He cleared his throat. "Um, guys, where's Mimi?"  
  
At those words, the apartment fell silent. Yamato began to have a sinking feeling, one that made him feel sick.  
  
Finally it was Sora who was pushed up to him. "Matt… I have some bad news…"  
  
"What?" he choked, the sadness suddenly engulfing him.  
  
"Mimi… well…   
  
"Matt, Mimi died a month ago."  
  
~*~ ~*~ ~*~  
  
Yamato followed Sora blindly to Mimi's apartment. Mimi, his beloved Mimi… was dead. She couldn't be. He didn't know why Sora and the others would lie, but they lied. She wasn't dead…  
  
The sadness was oppressing him, now. He felt numb, and he couldn't help but feel, deep down inside, that they weren't lying and she really was dead.  
  
If she was dead, it was all his fault. Maybe if he had swallowed his stupid pride and come here before, and apologized, maybe she'd still be alive. Maybe if he had never yelled at her. Maybe if…  
  
"Here we are, Matt," Sora said, interrupting his thoughts. She unlocked the door, and waited for him to step in.  
  
Yamato wandered in, his eye traveling over everything. The furniture was draped with black sheets, the walls painted black.  
  
He traveled to the bedroom, and instead of seeing pink, he saw black. The bed was black, the lamp was black… even all her picture frames were black. They were all filled with pictures of the gang. Gone were the pictures of the two of them that used to be there.  
  
He turned to Sora, who was standing at the door. "This can't be Mimi's room," he whispered softly. "Mimi's room was pink… this is all black…"  
  
"Mimi lived surrounded by black for nearly a year," she whispered.  
  
He said nothing, just stared around him again.  
  
Sora handed him a picture and an envelope. "She left these to you, Yamato. We weren't sure that you'd come back, but she was positive."  
  
He stared down at his name written with a clear, though wobbly hand on the envelope. Then, he looked up. "Where is she buried?"  
  
Sora looked at him. "She's… she's in the Odaiba Cemetery."  
  
Nodding, Yamato walked past her and out of the apartment.  
  
~*~ ~*~ ~*~  
  
There she was.  
  
She was dead.  
  
He stared at her headstone. It was a light reddish color that looked pink when seen in the right light. The crest of sincerity was etched in the corners.   
  
He slowly read it over again. All their names were on it, only by their crest names, but it meant them none the less.   
  
He slowly fingered a bouquet of roses and stared. According to Hikari, she had died exactly a month ago in the morning. He remembered it had been night in New York. He had been thinking of her and he had watched the death of a star… maybe she had been the star…  
  
He shook his head but slowly sat down. He took out the envelope and slowly tore it. Then, extracting the paper, he began to read shakily…  
  
Dear Yamato…  
  
By the time you get this, I'll be dead. I know I hurt you badly by breaking up with you, and that you didn't mean your angry words. I know I didn't even tell you what you did wrong. Well, let me tell you that you did nothing, absolutely nothing wrong. And that was exactly why I had to break up with you.  
  
Yamato, the day before we broke up, do you remember that I had a doctor's appointment? Well, I went to the doctor, and I learned something from him that changed my whole life…  
  
Yamato, he told me that I had cancer.  
  
Yamato stopped reading and almost dropped the paper. Instead, he turned his eyes quickly back down and continued to read.  
  
I had cancer, Yamato. Do you know what that meant? All my hopes and dreams were nothing but hopes and dreams, if they hadn't already been crushed. He told me I was going to die within a year.   
  
I realized that if I told you that I would hurt you. I knew that you'd insist on helping me through this… you've always been there when I needed support. But… that's not what I wanted. I never wanted to see you sad, and I knew this would make you sad. So… the next day I broke up with you. And let me tell you, that it hurt me nearly as much as it hurt you, if not more.  
  
You went away, and for months I didn't hear from you. Then, you blossomed out as a rock star. It hurt me to know that you were happy away from me, but I was glad that you were happy at all.   
  
The others swore to me not to tell you about this, even though they believed you'd never come back. You're reading this now, aren't you Matt? You're here now, right Matt? I always knew you'd come back.   
  
The others were nice to me, but I could tell that they were upset. I always tried to be happy and perky, to act like nothing was wrong. Usually I got them to forget that I was slowly dying.  
  
Here, tears in his eyes, he noticed that the ink was lighter and the words more crooked.  
  
I'm so tired, Matt. You can't believe how hard it's gotten to just stay awake. Before she knew, Sora would always ask why it was so easy for me to have gotten over you. Truth be told, Matt, I never really did. I got rid of everything pink and made it black, to chase away memories. I covered up the photos of us with some of the gang…but I never really got over you.  
  
Quickly, Yamato almost tore the picture from the frame. Inside, just as she had written, was an old picture of the two of them, right before their breakup.  
  
He went back to the letter.  
  
I looked at myself in the mirror just now, and I see how thin and pale and ugly I've gotten. In a way I'm glad that you can't see me like this when you've always told me I was beautiful… but I still wish you were here with me.  
  
My time's running out, Matt, and I just want to let you know that you changed my life for the better. You taught me how important love was, that once you've found love you never really let it go. You taught me about the side of life that wasn't about shopping or money… but in friendship and love. You taught me how to love.  
  
The next paragraphs were blurred with tearstains.  
  
I feel so helpless… I can't even write well anymore. Just today I tried to sing… and I couldn't. You don't know how that hurt me. Singing is a part of me… and I couldn't do it anymore.  
  
Dear, dear Matt. You meant everything to me, and you still do. You've probably found someone else, but I just wanted you to know…  
  
I love you. Your face will be the last I see before I die… and that's not as far off as everyone thinks.  
  
I love you Matt. Whatever you do, I wish you to be happy.  
  
Sincerely…  
  
Mimi  
  
With tears rolling down his face with abandon, Yamato knelt in front of her headstone and bowed his head.  
  
"Mimi, there is no one else for me but you. It makes me happy to know that you still love me… that you loved me when you broke up with me… that you did it for me… I love you… I love you still… I love you, Meems…" With that, he kissed the roses and put it on her grave.   
  
His eyes closed, he thought fervently of her.  
  
A soft breeze caressed his cheek, and he could swear that he heard her whisper, "I love you."   
  
Slowly he stood, staring at her grave, before turning and leaving.  
  
~*~ ~*~ ~*~  
"Hey everyone… I'd like to sing this song, dedicated to one of my dearest friends…" Yamato was nervous at first, but he forgot his nervousness as he talked on. "A friend who was always sincere with me, up until the very end. A friend who refused to see the dark side in things, but always saw the good in people. She saw the good in me, and taught me that friendship and love are essential to live.   
  
"She died several months ago of cancer, but she'll always live on in my heart. Mimi, wherever you are, if you're listening…" he paused and took a deep breath. "This song's for you. I love you."  
  
~*~ ~*~ ~*~  
  
He was so tired…  
  
Yamato shook his head, gazing out the window. He had grown old, alone. He had never married… if he couldn't spend life with her, he would spend it alone.  
  
He had lived on the money he had made as a rock star… he had kept singing until he was thirty. Then, he had started several successful groups and become famous, writing songs…   
  
His most famous song, however, was the one that he had dedicated to Mimi…  
  
He was so tired…  
  
"Matt…"  
  
He looked up slowly, blinking.  
  
"Matt…"  
  
"M…Mimi?"  
  
"Hey Matt!" She was an airy spirit, bubbly and happy. She looked as young as ever, and as beautiful as he remembered… and he remembered her as clear as day.  
  
"Mimi, what are you…"  
  
"Your time's up, Matt," she said softly, her white dress billowing around her like an angel. "You're to leave this world now."  
  
He looked at her features hungrily, comparing them with the ones he remembered. Then, he looked back at himself and sighed. "I'm old and ugly, Mimi…"  
  
She giggled. "You're body's worn out, Matt, not you! Come on, grab my hand and you'll be eternally young again!"  
  
"Ah, to be young…" he whispered. He looked to a photo of his brother and his friends. "I'm going to miss them."  
  
She put her hands on her hips. "Oh, and are you telling me that I didn't miss you?"  
  
He put his hands up in defeat. "Alright, alright! But Mimi… the night you left…"  
  
"The star?" she interrupted, smiling. "Yes, Matt. Yes."  
  
He nodded. "I see now." Remembering something else, he started, "And what about…"  
  
Mimi smiled even more. "Yes, Matt. I heard your song… and I thank you. It was beautiful." She then held out her hand. "Come on now, Matt. We've got to go."  
  
He smiled at the 'we'. "Yeah… we…"   
  
Yamato reached out and touched her hand. He could feel himself become light, as a burst of warmth showed that he and Mimi had held hands.   
  
He turned and gazed at himself. "Ooh… I was uglier than I thought."  
  
Mimi giggled. "Oh, who was it that said, 'You may say you're ugly but to me you'll always be beautiful?' Don't worry, Matt. You're still very handsome."  
  
He smiled at her. "Oh, to be young again…"  
  
"You *are* young," she told him, and led him towards a large light. "Forever young…"  
  
"Forever with you," he whispered, and with that, he stepped towards the light with her.  
  
  
  
*I Don't Know You Anymore*  
I would like to visit you for a while  
Get away and out of this city  
Maybe I shouldn't have called but  
Someone had to be the first to break  
We can go sit on your back porch, relax  
Talk about anything, it don't matter  
I'll be courageous if you can pretend that you've   
Forgiven me  
  
Because I don't know you anymore  
I don't recognize this place  
The picture frames have changed   
And so has your name  
We don't talk much anymore  
We keep running from the pain  
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again…  
  
Springtime in the city always's  
Such relief from the winter freeze  
The snow is more lonely than cold  
If you know what I mean  
Everyone's got an agenda, don't stop  
Keep that chin up, you'll be all right  
Can you believe what a year it's been?  
Are you still the same?  
Has your opinion changed?  
  
Because I don't know you anymore  
I don't recognize this place  
The picture frames have changed   
And so has your name  
We don't talk much anymore  
We keep running from the sentences  
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again…  
  
I know I let you down  
Again and again  
I know I never really treated you right  
I've paid the price  
I'm still paying for it every day  
  
So maybe I shouldn't have called  
Was it too soon to tell?  
Oh what the hell  
It doesn't really matter  
How do you redefine something that never really had a name?  
Has your opinion changed?  
  
Because I don't know you anymore  
I don't recognize this place  
The picture frames have changed and so has your name  
We don't talk much anymore  
We keep running from the pain  
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again…  
  
I see your face  
I see your face  
  
"I Don't Know You Anymore"- Savage Garden  
  
  
  
~END~  
  
A/N: That was it: my second tearjerker (the first being "Angel").  
  
So, did the story make you feel touched in any way? I hope so. In that case, I did my work well and I'll give myself a pat on the back. If not, I'll just smack myself and work harder.  
  
Anyway, let me know by reviewing.  
  
Now, I have to go work on something cheerful. I had to get some depression out of my system. Ah well, I'll go eat some chocolate now.  
  
-Venus163  



End file.
